Via by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Zayn Malik, the eternally conflicted former singer of the boy band One Direction, remains one of the most painfully boring pop stars of the last million years. Billboard profiled the singer in the magazine’s latest cover story, and it is hard to imagine a less satisfying read. Fans who checked out Zayn’s cover in the Fader two years ago won’t be shocked at his lackluster answers—but if this is your first time hearing Zayn speak, we’ve collected some of his most telling quotes.

On girlfriend Gigi Hadid:

She likes to cook for me and stuff — when I’m here late, she’ll come down and bring me food. She’s cool.

On the prospect of acting:

It would have to be a good script and something that was a bit ­different, like an art movie. Something people wouldn’t expect.

On working with Taylor Swift:

I worked with her because I felt like she was the right artist for the song

Riveting thoughts. The interview’s apex is when Zayn—who, Billboard reveals, has been living on a farm on and off since the last year—reveals his love of the simple country life.

“[The farm] is just out of the way and feels grounded,” he says. “There’s not a lot of things around. I do a lot of farm work.” Really? “Yeah, yeah, I take the horses out and feed the cows and that kind of stuff. It’s cool. I’ve always been ­interested in animals.”

Advertisement

Zayn’s girlfriend is “cool.” The farm is “cool.” Everything is “cool.” Cool story, Zayn.