Illustration for article titled Imagine If John Travolta and Limp Bizkits Fred Durst Recreated iFace/Off.../i
Photo: Emma McIntyre, Theo Wargo (Getty Images)

A glorious bit of news arrived on Tuesday by way of Variety: John Travolta has begun filming a movie directed by Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst. It’s called Moose, and has Travolta assuming the titular role of a stalker who’s singularly focused on ruining an action movie star’s life (played by some guy named Devon Sawa). Largely inspired by a real-life fan who stalked Durst back when they were rollin’ in a shit ton of money, Moose sounds cool, but what if they swapped faces, like in real life?


I’m not nostalgic for much, with a very real exception for the 1997 pinnacle of action filmmaking called Face/Off, in which Travolta and Nicolas Cage invented face-swap technology. For the uninitiated, Face/Off relies on a completely insane premise involving Travolta’s FBI agent persona and Nicolas Cage’s sociopath domestic terrorist character literally trading faces to go undercover in their respective lives. It’s basically Freaky Friday, but you keep your own organs. This Travolta/Durst pairing could work as fiction or documentary, ideally as soon as a crew can be assembled.

I, for one, think they look way more similar than anyone would’ve guessed in the year of our Lord 2018 (see above). If that’s not enough reason alone, the film format lends itself to the best-worst acting, ever, and who wouldn’t want to see that? Body-swap dynamics have been done a bazillion times over the years, but when everyone really goes for it in gonzo fashion like Face/Off, it’s probably one of the most rewarding things you can do as an actor, with an opportunity to own your co-star by exaggerating their most insufferable tics. Travolta rapping all scrunchy-faced with the red snapback could (and perhaps should) be the last image I see on earth. Hell, Durst basically gave us the treatment by way of the “Break Stuff” video.


I’m really not sure how Durst and Travolta met, or know anything about their rapport, but I would surrender my MoviePass so fast—or shell out for the DVD, the preferred distribution for most recent Travolta movies—and pay full price to see the damn thing if it ever came to be. Please god, make it happen.

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