I’ve got a bone to pick with Mr. Sheeran: Something truly troublesome has come to my attention. Everyday (well, presumably everyday), Ed Sheeran emerges from his Egyptian cotton cocoon bed, well-rested unless it’s the morning after a night out (the bar is where he goes.) He heads to the bathroom to wash his face and do his business. He considers skipping his morning shower but knows he’ll regret it later. He washes his porcelain skin, towels dry, hops into a 100%-silk robe and wanders into his closet, twirling his guitar string-callused fingers in the deep cotton fabric of his black and blue t-shirt collection, all emboldened with the word “HOAX.” He picks one, slips it over his freshly shampooed head and smiles—he’s ready for the day.
Have you noticed that Ed Sheeran wears a shirt from the Suffolk clothing company HOAX everyday, lest he be in a suit at an award show? Just two nights ago, he wore a shirt that reads “HOAX” onstage in California with real BFF Taylor Swift. He didn’t even try to go all Target-goth with her new Reputation look. He just wore another damn HOAX t-shirt.
It’s a seriously confusing clothing choice if you, like me, are a fan of the hardcore band HOAX (R.I.P. and NSFW, if you’re not a freak:)
Anyway! I hear he’s a brand ambassador for the company (so says HOAX, the brand) which makes sense, but these shirts are mostly stupid and inconsequential. But Eddie boy wears them...All. The. Time. Proof:
What will the punks think? Probably nothing, but what about all us who love intimidating guitar music and the soft stylings of Ed Sheeran? Surely there’s an overlap in the community? Or maybe...Ed Sheeran is a secret hardcore punk fan? Who knows!
Until Sheeran starts spending all his millions on rare records and shitty beer, we’ll have to live on in ignorance. Oh, and for what it is worth, if any cool brands wanna sponsor me, I’ll gladly wear a dumbass word on my chest for the foreseeable future.